Finding out.I'd suspected he was up to something as he was becoming increasingly difficult to get hold of and was becoming more and more obtuse about looking after the children to give me a break. Over the week or so before I finally found the truth out he had been on his phone more and more when he was in my presence, always texting or smiling at his phone, on another occasion i caught him sneaking into my garden when his phone rang...very odd!!. I did confront him about it but he fobbed me off an told me it was his friend, can't remember whether he said Chris or Craig. My children started to complain that when I'd left them with him that he was ignoring them and spending all his time on his phone, I later found out he'd been using my laptop whilst I was out too!
He had come round that Wednesday night at the end of may last year, the first thing id noticed was he'd bought himself a new phone, I'd asked to look and he handed it over.....BIG MISTAKE.... the first thing i did was hit messages and there she was!!...The first thing i took note of was her name (I'd need that later!) I didn't get chance to look properly, just saw that the messages were pretty mundane..what you up to?...oh nothing,just dropped the eldest off at youth club...boring shit really but still I wasn't taking it lying down!
I pulled him up about it straight away, to be honest I don't remember much about the conversation, I knew I had to keep calm to get as much information about her as possible out of him. I found out she was 30, separated, lived in Wigan and at 5'11" was taller than him (he's only 5'8") He told me I had nothing to be concerned about and that he just viewed her as a friend. As he was leaving that night he asked me not to "cyber stalk her" but fucking cheeky really, I don't cyber stalk anyone, I'm very very good at cross referencing and researching but without my abilities he would never have been able to find his long lost sister or his fathers birth family, that's a story for another day though.
Is she prettier than me?Despite my promise not to look her up, no sooner had he left my front door that night I was on his facebook, There was only one Claire on his friends list so she wasn't that hard to find, her profile pic was of her two sons and pretty well locked up and private, I wasn't on his friends list, to be honest I hadn't even noticed he'd removed me until that night, I logged into my daughters account as she was still on his list and as he then became a "mutual friend" I was able to view more of her profile.. I think pretty much the first think any wife thinks once she finds out something goes on is, Is she prettier than me? I'm not vain in anyway shape or form, in fact I'm body dysmorphic and can't have mirrors in my house, so I was expecting a stunning beautiful woman and to deeply deeply depressed, HA, that's not what happened! I had a look through her pics and what i found was a quite ugly woman, dark lanky lifeless hair, double chin, the type that even Gok couldn't fix, funnily enough this offended me more, if he had taken up with some tall, gorgeous blonde supermodel type I think I would have understood but her! my god has he no self respect?.So anyway not to bang on too much, from that one hour I managed to ascertain that she was living with her parents, her marriage had ended in august 2011, she had turned 30 in oct 2011, I knew where her kids went to school (I actually have friends with kids at the same school) and a few other things that I wont go into detail about yet.
Blowing up big time!The day after when he came round to visit (at my request-I wasn't happy!) I confronted him, that was when the vitriol spilled, how he blamed me for his dads death (i didn't kill him!) and all the other things I touched upon in my previous blog. We did argue and I will admit I did slap him before throwing him out of my house. That's when the shock set in.
I went out to lunch with a close friend the day after to talk things through with her, I told her everything that I'd found out, whilst we were eating my phone rang, It was him!, I took the call outside, Just as well really as he was in a foul mood and I was about to be on the receiving end, I don't even remember why he'd called in the first place, all I remember was him telling me he'd moved on and that I should too and that he wanted a divorce and me telling him that he could go fornicate with himself if he thought I'd sign them and that his down grade was a shame upon him. To be honest the thing that was annoying was how quickly it had happened, our children hadn't even come to terms with that fact that daddy didn't live with us anymore and here he was dipping his wick in a proper munter!
I hung up on him and went back inside, I told my friend what had happened and she said she thought he was just hitting out in anger and that I should show him why he married me, not mention his tart just show him what he was missing.
The gin I'd had that lunch time never even took the edge off the pain I felt that day and with heavy heart I went for the train back home, whilst I was sitting on the train another passed in the opposite direction and suddenly BANG my eureka moment, I sent him a text inviting him to come to the seaside the next day with the children and myself, for a picnic on the beach and rides on the fun fair, I was certain that he would refuse, no doubt his whore had other plans, His reply surprised me, he said he'd love to go but he wasn't willing to talk it was just to be about the children, this suited me fine because I wasn't planning on talking anyway!!
So the next day he arrived early, I'd purposely made sure I wasn't dressed from my back, I'd dried and straightened my hair and carefully applied my make up, and then (after almost losing my towel in front of him, that was an accident!) I went up stairs and slipped into a beautiful strapless maxi dress and put on my perfume...This Mrs was bringing sexy back! and lets face it my opponent was no oil painting!
We had a great day, we wern't supposed to be talking about us but it was him who raised the subject later that day, I had seen him looking out of the corner of my eye, there had been the light brushing past (unnecessarily) throughout the day, after our picnic on the beach and him taking the children for rides on the donkeys, we decided to head over to the fair and that's when he did the strangest thing, after cleaning the sand off the childrens feet and putting their shoes on, he picked my shoes up and cleaned the sand out of them, such a small gesture but do you really remove sand from the shoes of someone you claim to hate, I took this as a sign of hope, through the rest of the day as we took it in turns to take the children on rides (and drag them out of arcades!) I could tell he was thinking deeply, I kept my distance and kept quiet, it wasn't the time to be heavy handed, was he weighing up where he was better off? was he kicking himself for making the biggest mistake of his life? or was he working up to saying he'd meant what he said and he wanted a divorce?
We arrived home that saturday night, I was supposed to be going out to a birthday party that night whilst he babysat the children but he asked me to stay home and talk, to be honest I was too tired to go out anyway, I remember being stood by the kettle when he came in behind me, Him..."about the divorce".. ..oh shit..this is it he wants to go there!...Me.." I won't sign it, its too soon".......he laughs ...what's he laughing at?? ...Him.."what do you want from me?"......Me.."six months! I want you to give the children and I time to get used to the change before you start dating!" ......he sighs....Him.."I've already told you i'm not seeing her, I dont like her in that way, she's really just a friend in my eyes"..I turn my back i know i'm going to cry, he's not having any of it and takes me by the shoulders and turns me back to face him.....Him .."do you think we can get it all back?".....Me..."what?".. Him..."us, what we had?"....Me.."Don't fuck with me! this is cruel!"....he smiles at me, I don't think hes funny.....He looks deeply into my eyes, is he actually going to kiss me? he's looked like he's come close a few times throughout the day but not done, this will be a first for me, the anticipation I mean, the first time he ever kissed me I'd been stood with my eyes shut and hadn't seen it coming, I saw it coming this time though.
I wont go into details about what happened that night, what happens between a man and his wife in the comfort of their own home is no one else's business ;)
If I thought that was the end of my problems though I was very wrong, Turned out it was just the beginning, had I known then what I know now I would have made the most of that Saturday and Sunday before we switched out phones back on on the Monday!!